Tag Archives: Biblical motherhood

My Overdose on “How to be a Godly Parent”

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Photo Credit: John Lodder

Last week my friend Jen Wilkin wrote a good and wise post over at TGC titled How to Guard Sabbath for Your Children. I say it was good and wise, because it was. I know Jen enough to know that Jesus is her center and that she has a heart for parents to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. There’s a lot of kindred spiritedness between us. She is my sister in Christ and I respect her work and the role God has given her to play in the Church. I say all this so that it’s clear where I’m coming from. What I’m about to say has to do with my own heart, not with Jen. As a matter of fact, she’s getting a preview copy of this post.

Although I had many idols during the years I had gospel amnesia, one of my worst was “how to be a godly parent.” Another was the Sabbath. I struggled with Jen’s article last week not so much because of what she wrote but because she touched some areas in my soul that are still raw. They are areas that Jesus is still healing. They are areas that I specifically pray for balance in, desiring to kill any urge to pendulum swing.

I used to be a very strict Sabbatarian. As in if I had people over on Sunday and ran out of propane for the grill, my husband would go out to buy some, but only if we thought we could justify it with the “ox is in a ditch” rule (Matthew 12:11; Ex. 23:4,5; Deut. 22:4). We used to celebrate the Sabbath from sundown Saturday evenings to sundown Sunday evenings, with a Sabbath meal and all. I no longer hold to the law of the Sabbath theologically. One of the best books I read in 2012 is Tom Schreiner’s 40 Questions About Christians and Biblical Law. It set me free from my bondage and allowed me to see Christ for who he is, the fulfillment of the entire law. At some point I also went from identifying Sunday as the “Sabbath” to the “Lord’s day.” One day I hope to read From Sabbath to Lord’s Day: A Biblical, Historical, and Theological Investigation edited by D.A. Carson. I say this only to help the reader understand why my soul is still sensitive to Sabbath requirements, even though in reality we still keep Sunday as a day for church, rest, family and ministry. So although in practice we may look like Sabbatarians, our heart knows that when Christ said “it is finished” everything was finished. We don’t keep Sabbath anymore. Christ is our Sabbath. We get to spend our Sundays loving Jesus, loving each other, and loving our neighbors. We also don’t believe anymore that it’s a sin to go to the store, or to take the kids to In–n–Out.

Now, for the main point of this post: the idolatry of “how to be a godly parent.” Since I discuss it at length in Gospel Amnesia I will keep this to just a couple of points. One of my biggest idols was the desire to be a godly parent. I know it may sound paradoxical. After all, which Christian parent doesn’t want to be a “godly parent.” And besides, aren’t we commanded to be godly parents?

First, anything can be an idol. I flesh that out in Gospel Amnesia so I won’t take the time to do it here. Second, we are not commanded to be godly parents. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and strength and to teach this love of God to our children. That is a huge philosophical shift from “be a godly parent.” These are two different religions! The first is Jesus’ direct command and has as its object God. We are to point our hearts to God and to teach our children how to point their hearts to God. The second has as its object ourselves and our children, seasoned with the adjective, “godly.” The object becomes how to rightly be a parent with the drive behind it as the welfare of our children, spiritual and otherwise. I spent years and years reading books and blog posts on how to be a more godly mom/parent. I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t. As a matter of fact I have no intention on buying not one more book on motherhood. The inspired Word of God which I open up every single day has been telling me for years what I need to do: Love Jesus and love my children. The issue is: Will my heart obey these commands from the Lord himself? I don’t need another motherhood book or blog post to tell me this.

So, this brings me back to Jen’s blog post. Jen’s post had wisdom which she was offering to other families. Wisdom is good. Brothers and sisters in Christ should be able to encourage one another with wisdom. I was a bit taken off guard by the way my heart responded to it. I bring this up because recovering legalists like me need to be careful not to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I want to be able to glean from discussions on parenthood without succumbing to extremes in either direction. There are people like me learning how to keep Jesus at center who are still tender in some areas. It’s not a matter of not wanting to be told what to do. It’s not a matter of whether or not I want to bake for my family and be wise about my children’s time. For me it’s about where my emphasis is. I spent way too many years overdosing on what I should be doing for my children. That’s what made me so anemic. My focus wasn’t Christ, my focus was my children and all the things those books and blog posts told me to do to be a godly mom. The only godly correction to this is Jesus. The correction is gospel-centeredness! That has to be the center of my thought life! Only internalizing the gospel will keep me from parochial extremes. Only by internalizing the gospel could I hope to be a parent that looks more and more like Jesus with each passing day.

When Our Children Have Small Faith

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In our every day life as an ordinary Christian family, I have the opportunity to watch my children exercise their faith in Jesus.

I realized lately, how during the years that I had gospel amnesia I had expectations of what I thought Christian maturity and faith looked like for my kids. When they did not manifest this (as they often did not), nor meet my expectations (as they often did not), I would panic. I would start thinking I was doing something wrong in my parenting and inevitably resort to a variety of “godly” parenting methods to get the desired result: to get them to “act Christian.”

Just like us, our children have ups and downs in their faith. Especially once they become old enough to articulate their faith, they go in and out of seasons (e.g. oscillating between strong faith and dedication to Christ, and a lack of trust in God’s goodness and providence). For my kids, when they are strong, I usually see them respond to certain situations with God-given wisdom or Bible verses, and a desire to pray. When they are having a low season, I usually see slumped and pout-y demeanor, an overall ungratefulness, and doubt in God’s goodness.

Sometimes their prayers are fervent and sincere and sometimes they would rather get to bed then sit through family worship. At times we find them responding to circumstances with godly wisdom on their lips while at other times they say their favorite part of church is sitting in the back. (Hmmm… I’m pretty sure most adults have experienced this sentiment also.)

One of the many lessons the Spirit is teaching me is how to have grace on all my children from the oldest to the youngest when their faith is small. Our modern term, “empathy,” biblically known as “compassion,” goes a long way with children. Gasping at a faithless remark and then promptly and harshly chastising the child for not having a more “Christian” response and attitude… not so much. I should have compassion or empathy for my children in their times of weak faith, because I have times of weak faith, and it’s time I stop pretending otherwise for my children.

One thing I used to do a lot is get on them for their doubt. Now, I invite them to share their doubts with me and we talk through those thoughts (that includes the five year old). Even if in the end their heart struggle is not resolved, they are at least convinced that God allows us to struggle with him in our faith. They are not ashamed for wrestling with and for faith. Sometimes our children have doubts, questions and/or fears. I am trying not to rush in with quick “proof text” answers. Instead, I have had to think about how my heavenly Father responds to me when I am fearful and questioning.

My ultimate goal for them should be the same as the Lord’s ultimate vision for me—to be conformed to the image of Christ. This calls for suffering long with immaturity, failings, weaknesses, foolishness, sin and all their other flaws. It also means compassion when they have their seasons of small faith.

I love walking together with my children on this path of faith, always reminding them that we are disciples of Christ together, we are brothers and sisters in the household of God. I may be their mother and have certain temporary earthly authority, but my goal isn’t for them to always be looking to me, my job is to help them to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of their faith.

Fanning Into Flame the Gift of God

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I am sitting in the living room; my thirteen year old is taking a break from her drawing to put away some dishes, my eight year old is playing “business,” and my little boys (4 1/2 and 17 mo.) are roaring at each other and making whatever other noises little boys like to make. Someone comes to me to “tell” on someone else and my husband responds with “please give mom some time to write.” This is real life, with real children and a real husband and wife. A family learning how to overcome temptations and sins. A family learning how to love and serve each other more than we love and serve ourselves. A family trying to keep the evangel at the center of our family culture and life together. My husband brought me a cup of espresso and now has all the kids at the kitchen table eating fruit and talking about the city of Troy (I have no idea how that conversation started). I’m supposed to be writing about the excellencies of Christ… but instead I want to write to you about being faithful with gifts and talents in the midst of executing our role as wife and mother.

This morning I posted 2 Timothy 1:7 as today’s Lord’s Day Quote.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

I have been thinking about this verse since my husband and I watched Don Carson’s session Preserving the Gospel from The Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference last night. Set within the context of the entire passage Dr. Carson was teaching from (2 Timothy 1:3–2:2) Paul is encouraging Timothy to “fan into flame the gift of God.” I’ve thought a lot lately on how we women in general, and mothers in particular, are to “fan into flame the gift of God” without timidity, but with power, love and self-discipline.

Just like men, women made in the image of God are called to a variety of vocations, gifts and callings. When and if the Lord calls us to be wives and mothers we must seek to learn how to fulfill our gifts and talents within those distinct roles. I have learned a lot over the last few years as I’ve meditated on the parable of the talents. I’ve thought about times when I’ve squandered and/or buried my “talents.”  I’ve thought about times when I have slacked on my duties as wife and mother to pursue selfish desires. I’ve even had many years of burying and denying all talents on the altar of motherhood because of a truncated view of the gospel.

If you happen to be a wife and mother, at some point you get told that “you can’t have it all,” and certainly not all in the same season. You get told that the road of motherhood and wifehood is a season that changes. And that is all true to a certain degree, at the level of a cultural proverb. But as Christian women, we are to search for gospel answers to our questions. I don’t know about other women, but frankly, I am not persuaded nor satisfied with proverbial wisdom. I want to know how the gospel answers my questions. I want to know how a woman who seeks to keep the cross of Christ at the center fleshes out a gospel-empowered life. I want to know how I can “fan into flame the gift of God” while simultaneously being a good steward of my home, and loving and serving my husband and children.

My husband coined a phrase just for me, mimicking the style of Don Carson: “Being a wife and mother is much more than caring for the house and kids, but it’s certainly not less than that.” (The Carsonian turn of phrase can easily become the basis for a parlor game: “Being a Christian is much more than loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength… but it’s certainly not less than that,” or, “being a Christian woman is much more than being a woman, but it’s certainly not less than that…”) These baseline standards and aspirational directions create the space in which we live, and present us with both tensions and resting places.

Women are disciples of Christ also, right along with men. The gospels make that clear (see Luke 8:1–3). We are co-heirs of the gracious gift of life (1Peter 3:7) and we receive the gospel without partiality  (Gal. 3:26-29). The entirety of the Word of God applies to us. These things do not stop or get put “on hold” during the season of motherhood. We can never stop pursuing Christ first, not even when God in his goodness blesses us with a husband and children. Our fidelity belongs to Jesus Christ, from there all our doings flow.

“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever lose his life for my sake will find it.”

—Matthew 10:37–39

Now, by no means do we abandon our families. God forbid! But neither can we allow anything to eclipse our devotion to Christ. And this then, is the tension in which gospel women find themselves in—it is a tension built into our roles and calling, put there by our Creator. I submit to you that it is precisely this tension which is meant to drive us to the Cross first and foremost! It is this tension that is the means of our sanctification. It is this tension built into our everyday life that pushes us to (or should push us to) complete reliance and devotion to Jesus—and from that place, at the foot of the cross, we are to rise and do our Lord’s bidding. Whether it is time to change a diaper, run a load of laundry, or “fan into flame the gift of God.”

Christ Takes The Preeminence, Even In Motherhood

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“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”

—Colossians 1:15-20

Proclaiming Christ’s preeminence in all things, even in motherhood, should make all Christians shout: Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!  It does not and should not diminish the role of motherhood to rejoice in Christ’s supremacy. We have seen in reports about how today is one of the highest church attending days behind Christmas and Easter (See here also). Ed Stetzer from LifeWay is the Christian writer and blogger behind the research. If that is the case, then we should take the opportunity to hold up Christ all the more clearly in today’s services. Either way, we as mothers should want the name of Jesus to be extolled louder and held up higher than ourselves this day.

As mothers, let us rejoice in our Lord and Savior and enjoy our families. Pour love into our husband and children and offer prayers of thanksgiving for them as blessings given to us by God. And remember that in all things, even on Mother’s Day, Christ takes the preeminence.

There are many good and encouraging articles on the internet today, including to women who are bereaved or to those struggling with infertility. Here are just the few that I know about:

Gloria Furman, from Domestic Kingdom has collected links to eight articles on motherhood from around the web. Including some of her’s which she wrote for The Gospel Coalition.

Wendy Alsup has written an excellent post: A Mother’s Day For All Women

On Women’s Bible Studies Part One

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There was a time when I thought women’s Bible studies were a sin. It was never said quite like that but that is basically what I thought. This was when I was full blown into family idolatry. Without going into all the details I will say that at a certain point in our lives when we became engrossed in the family integrated movement we started believing that women shouldn’t be teaching other women the Scriptures. A book was maybe okay and only if it was about how to become a godly wife and mother. Part of this came out of the belief that only husbands should teach their wives the Bible. In our experience, this did not help women (me in particular) to see themselves first and foremost as disciples of Christ.

It wasn’t until God shook us awake, poured out his grace upon us, helped us to understand what the gospel really is, and made us fall in love with Jesus afresh that we started re-evaluating these ideas, and admitting that despite our years of protestations, that yes, we were being legalistic—even about “laws” that weren’t in the Bible.

Prior to that phase in our lives I had been involved in various types of women’s Bible studies and book studies. And yes, there is a difference. A book study is not a Bible study. So although I had been exposed to different methods, there was only one Bible study I had been in where a book of the Bible was taught from start to finish, verse by verse. (Incidentally, it was a very good study, but the fact that women at the study sometimes would gossip just fed into my “women’s Bible studies are always wrong” attitude later. It didn’t occur to me that women would gossip even without a women’s bible study. People sin.)

I remember when we did see some churches conducting direct ministry to women, or having women in “leadership” roles, we would make little crosses with our fingers, shout “Egalitarian! Feminist! Liberal!” and run the other way. (Shame on us for lacking the grace to see that they were just trying to help women grow in their relationship with Jesus.) Sometimes I think that the Christian community, in its zeal to combat the culture on the battlegrounds of feminism, over-sexualization, and latchkey children, tends to concentrate so heavily in telling women that they have a high calling being a wife and mother, (which we do and it’s good to be encouraged in that area) that they miss to also emphasize to women that they are Christians first—disciples of Jesus.

Your identity, ladies, is in Christ. Here is an excellent post from The Gospel Coalition on the types of Bible studies that transform and all the kinds that do not. I highly recommend it to all Christians, men or women.

A Definition Of Christ-Centered Motherhood

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I have come to believe that if a woman’s priority is not her relationship with Jesus Christ she will end up with an anemic soul. And women with anemic souls, whether they are single or married, with children or without, will forget or downplay the gospel and thereby not live it out. And yes, we are called to live out the gospel, not merely “believe” it. Of course, true “belief” in the gospel will always lead to living it out. How do I know this? because God’s Word says so. How do I know his Word says so? Because I read it. How did I read it? Because I made knowing Christ a priority and set aside the time to do so. This is all by the grace of God; I am not saying, “hey, look at what I do.” Prioritizing on Christ means following him, and to follow him you have to know him, and to know him you have to know his Word.

A life prioritized on Christ will lead to gospel-fueled godly service: to one’s husband, children, neighbors, local church, and who knows how far it may reach. A life prioritized instead on service, including service to good ends like our children, will likely run out of steam, and even all that service will be as filthy rags.

So when I use a phrase like “Christ-centered motherhood” instead of “godly motherhood” this is the distinction I am trying to emphasize. I have been a mother now for eighteen and half years. Every time I have read or heard the phrase “godly motherhood” it is always finished by something I had to do: play on the floor with the kids, let the kids help me in the kitchen, teach them to do chores, homeschool them–preferably using classical education (yes, I do that, and no, it does not make my children love Jesus more) etc. etc. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of the things above; they are good things—even “godly” things as a matter of fact—but doing them does NOT make you a godly mother.

Now what do I mean when I say “Christ-centered motherhood?” I mean a view of my mothering that comes as a consequence of a heart sold out to Jesus Christ, where I am centering my priorities, my schedule, my desires, and the totality of my life around my Savior. Not around my children, not around doing the works of a godly woman, nor, dare I say, around my husband.  In “The Blazing Center,” John Piper says that when Christ is center, like the sun, then all the planets of our lives will align rightly and revolve around Christ.

In my experience, and in my mind, these things always seem to flow from the center out. What we do, we can do with the power of the Holy Spirit without anxiety or guilt because it is flowing from our relationship with Jesus. I gave the examples of doing Bible reading, prayer, and cleaning the bathroom without feeling like we are neglecting our children. If we take the time to nourish our souls then whatever our hands find to do will be done out of a heart saturated with the gospel. Let me unpack and qualify this for a minute so I’m not misunderstood. First, our souls are nourished as we come to Jesus every day. It is through pure grace that our God pours the Holy Spirit into us. The time we spend at his feet through Bible reading and prayer are a response to that grace. So it’s all grace from start to finish. Second, let’s face it, living out the gospel in our every day life is not going to be perfect. We will still lose our patience with the kids, and we will still raise our voice at our husbands, we may even do something to hurt a friend, etc. etc. That is life in this body of death. I am no Pollyanna; I am not saying we will become angelic women when we center our lives on Christ. However, we will become more like him each and every day; that is the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives–to conform us to the image of Christ.

You Do Not Belong To Your Children, You Belong To Christ

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A superficial reading of the title may cause some to think I have become anti-motherhood. That is the furthest thing from the truth. I am the mother of five living children and one dead child whom I believe is with Jesus, by the grace of God. I am NOT anti-motherhood, I am for Christ-centered motherhood! It is because I have lived at the two extremes of neglecting family, and making family my idol, that I can say some of the hard things I’m going to say. God willing with a gracious spirit speaking the truth in love.

First, let’s see what the Scripture says about who we belong to:

“But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE…
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, YOUR SAVIOR…
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I LOVE YOU…
I, I am the Lord,
and beside me THERE IS NO SAVIOR.
–Isaiah 43: 1,3,4,11

If you are a Christian, you belong to Jesus Christ and no one else.

A friend and I were talking some weeks back and we both mentioned that we were a bit tired of these little aphorisms that seem to make the rounds in conservative Christian circles, whether on Facebook, blogs, books or in the local church. The latest goes something like this: “don’t worry so much about cleaning your home, make sure you are playing with your children.” There are others of course, most of them have to do with telling a mom to accept or forgive herself for not doing something else so THAT she can put more time in with the kids. It’s a good thing to try to remedy imbalances, but these sayings ALWAYS seem to tilt toward children. So for all the warnings NOT to become child-centered, or to have child-centered homes, we end up advising parents in ways that in actuality produce a certain child-centeredness.

Let’s be realistic for a minute: Motherhood is a big job. Our American attitudes toward “working smarter instead of working harder,” “play with your kids and don’t worry about the laundry,” will not help mothers understand their calling and tackle it with gospel eyes. For all the abortions in our culture, American secular families are very child-centered. Whether it’s buying their kids the newest learning game, extra-curricular activities, or even secular homeschooling (yes, it definitely exists), many many secular parents have their lives wrapped up in their children. I believe a little bit of this child-worship has crept into the Christian culture and we think it’s more palatable because we  have baptized it with certain Christian activities, or we’ve labeled it with “family-integration,” or given it some other Christian bent.

I have never read or heard anyone say:

“Read your Bible and spend time in prayer with the Lord; don’t worry if you send the kids to play in their room,” or
“Let the kids play outside by themselves; meditate on God’s mercy and pray in a quiet house for a while,” or even
“Clean your bathrooms; don’t worry about putting on a movie for your children.” or…. you get the point.

Why am I saying all this? It is not because I don’t think mothers should play with their children. In all honesty, it is because I have not seen a proper Christ-centered focus in the Christian community when it comes to motherhood. We’re so wrapped up with encouraging mothers to love their children and delight in them (which we should do appropriately) that we neglect THE WOMAN’S SOUL. Ladies you have eternal souls, you belong to Jesus, not to your children. Make your lives revolve around Christ, not your children. I believe you will find that when we focus on Christ, our parenting will harmonize around him. You will be able to love and serve your children better.

To repeat what I recently said on a friend’s blog: To the young mom, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of pursuing your relationship with Christ Jesus with passion and rigor. Out of this will flow all things. It’s okay to read blogs, articles and books that give schooling and parenting advice, but if that is your diet, you are headed for disaster. Feed on Christ, let that be your main food. It’s okay to read those other things, but in small quantities or they will become your rule of law and your eyes will be taken off of Christ. I can write pages on this, but I won’t.

 

 

 

 

“I’ve Never Seen A Guy That Has Those Kinds Of Powers, Before!”

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I was on the internet looking for a used car for my eighteen year old (she’s getting ready to start college this summer) when my four and half year old son says, “Mom, come out here and tell me some more about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins.” Uhhh…. as I gather my mind from the four corners it had just blown to, I get up to do his bidding, my mind scrambling–trying to figure out what I’m going to say and how I’m going to say it. It’s one thing for me to speak and write to women, it’s another thing to speak the gospel to a four and half year old, or so I thought.

He tells me he can’t find his Jesus Story Book Bible and so I went ahead and just grabbed the Gospel Story Bible, not wanting to waste a moment. I needn’t have worried, he had all kinds of questions and conversation he wanted to have with me. I quickly prayed for the Lord to give me the proper words to say to my son as he led me out to the patio. I fumbled with my words at first, trying to decide how to speak the gospel in a way that my son can understand it. We read two of the stories, “The Crucifixion & the Criminals” and “The Death of Christ.” He had all kinds of questions. The wording that finally resonated with him was from page 232 when it says, “He took the punishment for our sin as our substitute. When Jesus said, ‘It is finished,’ he was saying that the punishment was over…” My son understood the word “punishment” and so I was able to use it to explain how Jesus dying on the cross for us made it so that he and I would not have to be punished for our sins.

After that the conversation turned toward sin, what it is, what can be done about it, what Jesus did about it. Then came questions about heaven, then it turned back to questions about saving people, at which point he said, “so if Jesus didn’t die to save us then we would have to save him.” This was not a question, it was a declarative sentence. I could tell he wanted to understand “saving.” He insisted that people can save also, at which point I gave him a hypothetical example of him saving his sister from an oncoming car, or the example of a person saving an animal. From there I spoke to him about how there are different kinds of saving, but there are things that people can never save themselves or each other from–our sin. I told him about how mommies and daddies can’t save each other or their children. That only Jesus can save us. He seemed to get the finiteness of people, although I think he didn’t like being told that there were indeed things that human being can’t do. He’s a little boy drawing ever closer to his fifth birthday, of course he believes that there isn’t anything HE can’t do. It really was the cutest thing, that seemed to be the thing that he struggled with the most–that we can’t save ourselves or each other. I didn’t want him to think that we stop sinning after we become Christians, and so I gave examples of how I sin and then ask for forgiveness from the family and from God. Of course he wanted to quickly point out how his sisters sin against him too.

He was still struggling with the resurrection though. He kept saying: “but I don’t understand how did he get up after he died?” I tried to explain how God has real supernatural power. So he asks: “Like the X-Men?” (he likes to watch the X-Men cartoons on Netflix instant watch. I responded with: “God has hundreds and hundreds more powers then the X-Men.” To which he said: “I’ve never seen a guy that has those kinds of powers, before!” Not long after that I asked him if he believed what we had been talking about and if he wanted to pray asking Jesus into his heart to save him. He said “yes” and I had him pray repeating after me. When we were done, we talked about how people have a relationship with God and how we are to live after we become followers of Jesus Christ.

I want to say a few words about evangelizing our children. I know this is one of those sticky issues that people believe differently about. When I was growing up I was taught that a person became a Christian when they were baptized and that Christian parents have to baptize their babies so that they can be Christian. I have lived long enough to see that this is a very delicate and heart-tugging issue with parents. As a parent I see now why people want to believe this. What God-fearing serious Christian wouldn’t want their child to be a Christian?! As difficult as it may be, our loyalty should lie with Christ and his Word, not our feelings about our children. No matter what you believe about baptism, there is still the God given duty to raise our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Although we are Christian parents building a Christian home where we pray and sing with our children, have times of family devotions and such, we have still evangelized our children–not assuming that somehow just being raised in a Christian home would make them followers of Christ. As the Lord has led and in his timing, we have verbally, propositionally, evangelized all of our children so far, except for our one year old, who merely receives “lifestyle evangelism.” Every occasion was brought about by the Lord. Nothing was ever forced! As a matter of fact with a few of the children there were times when I would intentionally bring the conversation around to the gospel desiring to bring them to a profession of faith but I was blocked by the Holy Spirit. And so we have always tried to be sensitive to the leading of the Lord, knowing that he would prepare the heart of that particular child. The children accepted Christ at different ages, again we trusted on the Lord for his timing. With my son, yesterday, he invited me to speak to him about Jesus. He asked many questions, he lead the conversation for the most part, and I could see him thinking about what we were talking about. He was VERY engaged. (I know he’s only four and a half and for some people that may seem too young but really who are we to tell the Lord when to open the hearts and mind of our children?) The occasions and ages were varied for different kids. I would never suggest a forced encounter. Being Reformed I believe that “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” Romans 8:29-30.

If I love my son enough to want to see him grow up to tell people about Jesus, to give his life to Christ completely, then I have to be willing to evangelize him. I have to be willing to talk about the gospel with him, if I want his life to be gospel-centered.