Tag Archives: Bible Reading

Why It Doesn’t Help to Chastise Mothers, or Any Woman, to Read Her Bible More

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Andy Naselli quoted Martyn Lloyd–Jones and D.A. Carson saying that in the season of very young children it is difficult for mothers to have the time for Bible study or other serious reading. Andy got some friendly push–back and responded with a follow–up post. All of this got me to thinking, especially since one of my passions is to encourage women to pursue God by loving him with all their minds.

There is no doubt that there are intellectually lazy women, whether they are single, married, or with children makes no difference. Just like there are intellectually lazy men. There are countless of Christians who are lukewarm—unmoved to purse the Scriptures. In the comments to Andy’s post there were many responses about how important our Bibles are, how moms can’t afford to not strengthen themselves in the Word of God, how it’s all too easy for young women to give themselves a pass on not reading their Bibles but waste their time on Facebook, etc. etc. I agree. If a woman (or a man for that matter–although details may differ) has time to be on Facebook, research whatever the faddish diet of the day is, spend time on Pinterest and pour over which veggie combination works best to detox the kidneys, then please at least be honest that your issue isn’t that you don’t have time to read the Word of God.

See, I can write these things all day long. I can pour on the semi–sarcastic remarks and spread chastisement on my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ nice and thick—like cream cheese frosting on carrot cake.

I have lived a life of heavy chastisement. Chastisement is one of the chief ways of discipline the Middle Eastern culture uses in raising children. That is how I was raised. I have chastised my children to excess, especially my oldest. I have chastised sisters in Christ for all sorts of things. I have chastised my husband. And I have been drawn to writers, teachers, and pastors whose tone is chastising, in order to spur me on to be more “godly.” Chastisement was the law of my tongue.

Psalm 103:8–14 says:

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame, he remember that we are dust.

Does the Bible speak about the Lord disciplining us like sons, sometimes chastising us and rebuking us? Yes absolutely it does. But that is not the complete character of our God. We do not serve Allah, the angry God who punishes man. We serve a Triune God whose general and special revelation of himself should give us a wider, deeper and more complex understanding of his nature. He is the kind of God that came down and became a man. A flesh and blood man. He didn’t sit up in heaven and chastise his people until they got their act together. This is what God did for us:

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:3–6

Jesus bore the chastisement that was ours. Our iniquities were laid on him. Friend do you see that we all deserved the biggest chastisement from the hand of God and instead our heavenly compassionate Father took it upon himself, he took all the verbal beatings. Jesus took all the chastisement of the whole world. Remember that next time you want to chastise someone.

How does the gospel help us sort these things out? How do we filter chastisement through the gospel?

First and foremost, if there is a rebuke that is truly required, let that be done with the love of Christ. As Paul says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1–2) So stronger brothers and sisters have as their aim the restoration of their brethren through a spirit of gentleness and on their guard for temptation. Bearing one another’s burdens fulfills the law of Christ.

I have chastised women for not reading their Bibles. I don’t think it ever went anywhere. It surely didn’t bear any righteous fruit, not that I can tell. It’s obvious that I can’t motivate anyone by chastising them. How does that help them see the love of Jesus and inspire them to learn more about him? I don’t want to chastise women for not reading their Bibles. And if I ever do it again,  I pray it is only because I have a personal relationship with someone and I can do so from a humble and gentle spirit. It is a matter of wisdom and seeking the Lord.

Dear sisters if you are faithful in pursuing God with all your mind, remember that it is by the grace of Christ. Remember when you miss your devotions or your reading time or your study time and have compassion on your sisters in Christ. Come alongside and encourage, exhort, rebuke those you know well with a gentle and humble spirit. Pray. Pray for those whom you are concerned about. Pray that they see the glory of Jesus. Pray that the Holy Spirit will awaken their desires and priorities to thirst and hunger after the living God. This is the gospel way. Open your mouth with wisdom and let the teaching of kindness by on your tongue.

One last thought: This is an area that requires wisdom and diligence from pastors. Pastors, may I gently exhort you as my brothers in Christ to encourage and exhort the women in your congregation to not only read their Bibles but to chase after God in order to love him with all their heart, with all their soul and with all their mind? Being mindful to be shepherds who speak with intelligence, temperance and kindness, encourage the women in your church to pursue a vibrant life of the mind. And let that pursuit be more than just books on how to be a better wife and mother, as important as those things are. After all, the goal of God in the soul of Christian men and women is to conform us to the image of Christ. Bless you for your faithfulness!

To Sit Like Mary

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For a couple of months now I’ve had a draft started about Mary and Martha, but after I wrote that little post about watching TGCW12, I sat and stared at that sentence: “to sit and learn like Mary.” I thought of all the different ways the Lord invites us to come to him: with needs, with tears, with complaints, with an anxious heart, with a quiet heart, sitting still, listening, and learning. You can probably think of other ways you have gone to sit at Jesus’ feet.

I also noticed that Scripture does not record Mary responding to Martha. When Martha accused Mary of not getting up to help, Mary did not defend herself. Nor did she throw any remark or taunt back at her sister. The Lord Jesus defended Mary and rebuked Martha (even though he loved Martha also). Mary was content to let the words of Jesus be her defense.

Jesus justified Mary, and Mary rested in that justification. To sit and learn, is the better part, Jesus said. He is not promoting laziness here, but pointing to a heart orientation. Let us sit and learn at the feet of Jesus.  I love how the NIV has it:

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listing to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

—Luke 10:38–42

 

For Sin Shall Not Be Your Master

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One of my mother’s day gifts from my children was a printout of Romans 6:14 pasted onto card stock paper and then signed by each child. It is currently held up by magnets to the front door of our refrigerator. My family knows this verse has been very crucial in my understanding of what Christ has really and truly done for me, the depths of God’s grace and the freedom it has given me to live in true obedience out of love and gratefulness for that grace. Tim Keller has said, “when you see that it’s costly grace, you can’t be morally lax, but at the same time you can’t always be beating yourself up about your failures.”

Another thing I’ve heard Tim Keller talk about, is how if you’re not really moved by the love of God, you’re not going to walk away from some of these stronghold sins. In a discussion between Carson, Piper and Keller, the men were making a distinction between “a new affection controlling” the mind and will of the believer, versus “a new idea warning” the mind and will, as in “don’t do this, or stop doing that.” As I see it, the seat of obedience to God is the heart of man. Unless the heart of that man or woman or child is truly captured and enthralled by the love of God and the display of that love on the cross, no obedience or conformity to New Testament indicatives can be considered true gospel living. I’ve done a lot of what I considered obedience to God’s law only to discover that I had dethroned God to run after all my “clean” idols.

“For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.”

Romans 6:14 (NIV)

To better understand what this verse says, let’s look at what it does not say. It does not say “Satan,” but “sin.” It is not talking about what person shall or shall not be our master, but what controlling affection shall be our master. The negation, therefore is probably not emphasizing that the person of Christ is our master, though this is true, but rather that our love and affection for Christ shall control us and our actions—that love shall be our master. Sin may have been our master under law, but we are under grace—grace displayed in the love of God through Christ Jesus, in fulfilling the law and taking the penalty for sin on the cross.

 

Becoming a Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia and Syntyche (On Women’s Bible Studies Part Two)

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In You Do Not Belong To Your Children, You Belong To Christ I wrote about the importance of believing that we belong to Christ, understanding our identity in him, and centering our lives around him and not our children. I gave many qualifications also, so that I would not be misunderstood regarding the emphasis I was trying to make.

In On Women’s Bible Study Part One I spent time writing a bit about my journey through women’s Bible studies over the years with some critique here and there.

I now want to turn toward an exhortation:

Back in February I read an interview with D.A. Carson published on Desiring God concerning The Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference. I wanted to go to the conference since the first time I heard about it last summer (summer 2011), but it was after reading this interview that my husband and I were convinced. The following quote, which I want to spend some time unpacking and using to encourage each other toward magnifying the name of Christ, is something I have been turning over and over in my mind since I first read it.

“It is very important that the complementarian stance not be reduced to a cheap parody, where all we are saying is “No!” I would love to see far more churches utilizing the gifts and training of women, whether in paid staff positions or not — positions that are shaped by complementarian confessionalism and simultaneously encouraging, liberating, gospel-focused. Our churches could do with a lot more women in the heritage of Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia, and Syntyche. (Why do we remember the latter two only for their bickering, and not only for their ministry of contending for the gospel at Paul’s side?)“

Concentrating on the section in bold, we can ask: What does it mean to become women in the heritage of Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia and Syntyche? (I love what he says in the parenthesis.) How can we get there? And is it really different from women like Ruth, Mary the mother of Jesus and Mary the sister of Martha, and all the other women that followed Jesus during his earthly ministry?

Would Ruth have been willing and able to cling to Naomi and her God if she had not known and loved the God of her husband, Naomi’s son? This love, submission and the impassioned plea in verses 16-17 of chapter one did not come out of nowhere. In verse 17 Ruth uses the word Yahweh for Lord, this is the personal and covenantal name for God. Ruth was claiming belief in the God of her husband and identifying herself as part of his covenant people.

From reading Mary’s Magnificat we see that Mary knew her theology (Luke 1:46-55). Timothy’s mother and grandmother taught him the Scriptures and were commended for their faith (2 Timothy 1:5). Priscilla and her husband Aquila took Apollos aside and “explained to him the way of God more accurately” (Acts 18:26) which helped him become an even stronger disciple-maker and gospel preacher, Phoebe was a deaconess-servant of the church and trusted by Paul (Romans 16:1), Euodia and Synteche labored “side by side with [Paul] in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of [his] fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.” (Philippians 4:3). So as I personally look over the godly women of Scripture I don’t see a dichotomy between women who were dedicated to their families and women who were dedicated to gospel work. I see that all of them were well grounded in the Scriptures and the difference instead lies in the gifting and emphasis which the Lord wanted to draw attention to in his Word.

So let’s get back to the remaining two questions I asked above: What does it mean to become women in the heritage of Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia and Syntyche? And, how can we get there?

It means to be Biblically literate women; to know and to love the Word of God, to learn how to handle the Scriptures rightly, and to contend for the gospel. That love and knowledge will then flow out toward service in the home, church and community producing women in the heritage of Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia, and Syntyche.

I think in order to start moving in this direction, we need to heed something Carson said earlier in that interview:

“TGC aims to reform evangelicalism, putting the “evangel” (the gospel) at the center of our thinking and practice — and that means focusing on Scripture, on Christ, on the cross and resurrection, on the God who redeems his people. If we are going to contribute to the reformation of evangelicalism, we must aim to teach women as well as men.”

So I see the first step being putting the “evangel” back at the center of women’s thinking and practice. This will mean men and women working together to help women of all ages, life situations and giftedness to see themselves first and foremost as daughters of God, grounded in their identity as disciples of Jesus, and sisters in Christ together.  So that they in turn can pass this primary identity to the next generation. When our identity in Christ is better grasped we will not be as easily swayed by the “winds” blowing in and out of the church.

Another step on the road to becoming a Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia and Syntyche would be to guard ourselves from wanting to jump too quickly to life application when studying God’s work. I love the thought of Mary, Martha’s sister, sitting at the feet of Jesus drinking in his words. Let’s take a look at another thing Carson said in that interview:

“If we leap too quickly to personal application without reflecting on how any biblical passage fits into the Bible’s grand history and plan of redemption, we almost always end up (however unwittingly) distorting the Bible. Worse, we lose sight of the way Scripture flows toward Jesus. The best application of Scripture takes place after coming to grips with how any text fits into the God-given big picture.”

As Tim Keller and others have said, the Bible is not about us, the Bible is about Jesus. If we want transformation and not just information we would do well to read Scripture with eyes resting on Christ without trying to quickly bypass him to get to what the Word can do for us personally (even if it is greater sanctification that we’re looking for).

This is just the start of a conversation. I certainly don’t have all the answers. As I said, I’ve been thinking about these things since I first read this post back in February and will need to continue to think through it. I will happily admit that I am a woman desiring the heritage of Priscilla, Phoebe, Euodia and Syntyche but I also know that I have a long ways to go.

On Women’s Bible Studies Part One

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There was a time when I thought women’s Bible studies were a sin. It was never said quite like that but that is basically what I thought. This was when I was full blown into family idolatry. Without going into all the details I will say that at a certain point in our lives when we became engrossed in the family integrated movement we started believing that women shouldn’t be teaching other women the Scriptures. A book was maybe okay and only if it was about how to become a godly wife and mother. Part of this came out of the belief that only husbands should teach their wives the Bible. In our experience, this did not help women (me in particular) to see themselves first and foremost as disciples of Christ.

It wasn’t until God shook us awake, poured out his grace upon us, helped us to understand what the gospel really is, and made us fall in love with Jesus afresh that we started re-evaluating these ideas, and admitting that despite our years of protestations, that yes, we were being legalistic—even about “laws” that weren’t in the Bible.

Prior to that phase in our lives I had been involved in various types of women’s Bible studies and book studies. And yes, there is a difference. A book study is not a Bible study. So although I had been exposed to different methods, there was only one Bible study I had been in where a book of the Bible was taught from start to finish, verse by verse. (Incidentally, it was a very good study, but the fact that women at the study sometimes would gossip just fed into my “women’s Bible studies are always wrong” attitude later. It didn’t occur to me that women would gossip even without a women’s bible study. People sin.)

I remember when we did see some churches conducting direct ministry to women, or having women in “leadership” roles, we would make little crosses with our fingers, shout “Egalitarian! Feminist! Liberal!” and run the other way. (Shame on us for lacking the grace to see that they were just trying to help women grow in their relationship with Jesus.) Sometimes I think that the Christian community, in its zeal to combat the culture on the battlegrounds of feminism, over-sexualization, and latchkey children, tends to concentrate so heavily in telling women that they have a high calling being a wife and mother, (which we do and it’s good to be encouraged in that area) that they miss to also emphasize to women that they are Christians first—disciples of Jesus.

Your identity, ladies, is in Christ. Here is an excellent post from The Gospel Coalition on the types of Bible studies that transform and all the kinds that do not. I highly recommend it to all Christians, men or women.

“I’ve Never Seen A Guy That Has Those Kinds Of Powers, Before!”

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I was on the internet looking for a used car for my eighteen year old (she’s getting ready to start college this summer) when my four and half year old son says, “Mom, come out here and tell me some more about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins.” Uhhh…. as I gather my mind from the four corners it had just blown to, I get up to do his bidding, my mind scrambling–trying to figure out what I’m going to say and how I’m going to say it. It’s one thing for me to speak and write to women, it’s another thing to speak the gospel to a four and half year old, or so I thought.

He tells me he can’t find his Jesus Story Book Bible and so I went ahead and just grabbed the Gospel Story Bible, not wanting to waste a moment. I needn’t have worried, he had all kinds of questions and conversation he wanted to have with me. I quickly prayed for the Lord to give me the proper words to say to my son as he led me out to the patio. I fumbled with my words at first, trying to decide how to speak the gospel in a way that my son can understand it. We read two of the stories, “The Crucifixion & the Criminals” and “The Death of Christ.” He had all kinds of questions. The wording that finally resonated with him was from page 232 when it says, “He took the punishment for our sin as our substitute. When Jesus said, ‘It is finished,’ he was saying that the punishment was over…” My son understood the word “punishment” and so I was able to use it to explain how Jesus dying on the cross for us made it so that he and I would not have to be punished for our sins.

After that the conversation turned toward sin, what it is, what can be done about it, what Jesus did about it. Then came questions about heaven, then it turned back to questions about saving people, at which point he said, “so if Jesus didn’t die to save us then we would have to save him.” This was not a question, it was a declarative sentence. I could tell he wanted to understand “saving.” He insisted that people can save also, at which point I gave him a hypothetical example of him saving his sister from an oncoming car, or the example of a person saving an animal. From there I spoke to him about how there are different kinds of saving, but there are things that people can never save themselves or each other from–our sin. I told him about how mommies and daddies can’t save each other or their children. That only Jesus can save us. He seemed to get the finiteness of people, although I think he didn’t like being told that there were indeed things that human being can’t do. He’s a little boy drawing ever closer to his fifth birthday, of course he believes that there isn’t anything HE can’t do. It really was the cutest thing, that seemed to be the thing that he struggled with the most–that we can’t save ourselves or each other. I didn’t want him to think that we stop sinning after we become Christians, and so I gave examples of how I sin and then ask for forgiveness from the family and from God. Of course he wanted to quickly point out how his sisters sin against him too.

He was still struggling with the resurrection though. He kept saying: “but I don’t understand how did he get up after he died?” I tried to explain how God has real supernatural power. So he asks: “Like the X-Men?” (he likes to watch the X-Men cartoons on Netflix instant watch. I responded with: “God has hundreds and hundreds more powers then the X-Men.” To which he said: “I’ve never seen a guy that has those kinds of powers, before!” Not long after that I asked him if he believed what we had been talking about and if he wanted to pray asking Jesus into his heart to save him. He said “yes” and I had him pray repeating after me. When we were done, we talked about how people have a relationship with God and how we are to live after we become followers of Jesus Christ.

I want to say a few words about evangelizing our children. I know this is one of those sticky issues that people believe differently about. When I was growing up I was taught that a person became a Christian when they were baptized and that Christian parents have to baptize their babies so that they can be Christian. I have lived long enough to see that this is a very delicate and heart-tugging issue with parents. As a parent I see now why people want to believe this. What God-fearing serious Christian wouldn’t want their child to be a Christian?! As difficult as it may be, our loyalty should lie with Christ and his Word, not our feelings about our children. No matter what you believe about baptism, there is still the God given duty to raise our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Although we are Christian parents building a Christian home where we pray and sing with our children, have times of family devotions and such, we have still evangelized our children–not assuming that somehow just being raised in a Christian home would make them followers of Christ. As the Lord has led and in his timing, we have verbally, propositionally, evangelized all of our children so far, except for our one year old, who merely receives “lifestyle evangelism.” Every occasion was brought about by the Lord. Nothing was ever forced! As a matter of fact with a few of the children there were times when I would intentionally bring the conversation around to the gospel desiring to bring them to a profession of faith but I was blocked by the Holy Spirit. And so we have always tried to be sensitive to the leading of the Lord, knowing that he would prepare the heart of that particular child. The children accepted Christ at different ages, again we trusted on the Lord for his timing. With my son, yesterday, he invited me to speak to him about Jesus. He asked many questions, he lead the conversation for the most part, and I could see him thinking about what we were talking about. He was VERY engaged. (I know he’s only four and a half and for some people that may seem too young but really who are we to tell the Lord when to open the hearts and mind of our children?) The occasions and ages were varied for different kids. I would never suggest a forced encounter. Being Reformed I believe that “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” Romans 8:29-30.

If I love my son enough to want to see him grow up to tell people about Jesus, to give his life to Christ completely, then I have to be willing to evangelize him. I have to be willing to talk about the gospel with him, if I want his life to be gospel-centered.

Depression and Scripture Reading

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I neglected to mention in my interview for DK that one of the books that helped me tremendously when I was battling depression was John Piper’s When the Darkness Will Not Lift. I highly recommend it. I’ve realized that I haven’t really written about depression, I’m not sure why. It’s certainly not because I’m ashamed to talk about it! I believe it’s only because my heart is burdened to write about other issues right now. I reject the idea that “discernment” means we hide our struggles. I have learned from the example of Paul in the Scriptures, and pastors like John Piper that these issues are crucial for Christians to share with one another. I’m also grateful for ministries like Head Heart Hand who work hard to help the Church learn to understand depression and guide Christians through seasons of darkness. Here’s a post from yesterday on How To Help A Depressed Spouse. And of course there is David Murray’s book Christians Get Depressed Too, which I understand has been helpful to many. I have personally not read it, however.

I want to say a few words about depression and Scripture reading. I have known people (I was like this) who continue to be in God’s Word even through heavy seasons of depression (albeit sometimes mechanically and with little or no joy). However, I also know that there are times when those suffering through this affliction, lose their will to read the Bible or find little, if any, desire for God himself. I understand these things, deeply. Because the Lord has given me a great burden to entreat people to read the Scriptures, I want to help even those who have no taste for it whatsoever. Here’s something from When the Darkness Will Not Lift that I want to share:

“For most people who are passing through the dark night of the soul, the turnaround will come because God brings unwavering lovers of Christ into their lives who do not give up on them. Throughout Richard Baxter’s sermon on the causes and cures of melancholy are strewn counsels to the church on how to carry the burdens of the depressed. He says things like, ‘Often set before them the great truths of the gospel which are fittest to comfort them; and read them informing, comforting books; and live in a loving, cheerful manner with them.’ If depressed saints cannot read the Bible or a good book, we should read it to them.”

–John Piper, When the Darkness Will Not Lift

I believe in the complete and total power of the Word of God. I believe that the Holy Spirit takes the living Word and works it into our hearts and minds and that this, over time, bears fruit in our souls. Therefore for me, reading it is crucial to the life of the believer. There is no life to be found outside of Christ and his Word. So, if you know someone who is so depressed that they cannot even read their Bibles, then please, read God’s Word to them. Or, if you are in such darkness that you cannot go to the Scripture, then please, have it read to you. I remember there were times when I asked my husband to read to me because I just couldn’t. I remember God’s Word crashing over me like ocean waves, over and over again they would come until I was soaked.

There are two things that are absolutely essential for depressed men, women and children: A person who loves Jesus Christ to speak the gospel to them over and over again (with a robust dose of grace), and Scripture reading. Of course depending on the situation, other things may be necessary also, but nothing takes the place of these two.

If you have tasted depression and have endured, then please consider reaching out and helping others. Even if you haven’t but you love the Lord, you can still help those who suffer. Let us all be encouraged by what the Apostle Paul says:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (emphasis mine)