From time to time in my spiritual journey I am afflicted with doubt concerning God’s love for me. I don’t think I’m the only one and so I decided to write a little exhortation to others who may also have similar struggles.
Every once in a while, especially when I get sick of my sinful self, I wonder. I wonder how a perfect, pure, beautiful, holy, untouchable God can stand to even be in the same room as me; a woman unworthy of his attention, his grace, and mercy. I figure if I’m sick of myself surely God must be sick of me and my parochial musings.
It’s times like these when I can tell I have forgotten to preach Jesus to myself. I see it in my pity-party, I see it in my discouragement, I see it in my turning inward upon myself—the evidences of not enough private time with Jesus.
Scripture is filled with evidences of God’s goodness and mercy toward his people, toward us:
Fear not, O Zion;
let not your hands grow weak.
The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
If you have times of doubting God’s love for you I’m not going to tell you to “stop it and think about all the things you should be grateful for.” No… I understand. But although I understand, I also want to exhort. We are Christian women, we have a sisterly duty to encourage each other to look up at Jesus; spend time meditating on Scriptures which specifically speak of his loving-kindness, compassion, and steadfastness. Rehearsing the message of the gospel in my mind, sometimes even saying it out loud to myself brings Christ and his cross work into focus. This is what the Holy Spirit uses time and again on my heart. May the Spirit minister to you in the moments you are insecure of Jesus’ love for you.