If you have read this blog for any length of time you may have sensed that I struggle with always feeling inadequate before God. I have this highly driven need to try to measure up and do well so that I can please my heavenly Father. These seasons of constant low-level self-condemnation come and go.
There have been a few triggers lately which have brought back the self-doubt and preoccupation with my sinfulness. This is not a good thing, it cripples my Christian walk and earthly duties. I need to spend some time thinking about why and how this happens, and why my response is giving into morbid introspection instead of running to Jesus.
I was very moved yesterday when I read this George Whitefield quote from Dane Ortlund. I have been feeble in my faith, spiritually weak and bruised and this was soul food:
Whitefield: The Love of Jesus
It is condescending love, it is amazing, it is forgiving love, it is dying love, it is exalted and interceding love and it is glorified love.
I am talking of the love of Jesus Christ, who loved me before I loved him. He saw us polluted in blood, full of sores, a slave to sin, to death and hell, running to destruction, then he passed by me and said unto my soul, ‘Live,’ he snatched me as a brand plucked from the burning.
It was love that saved me, it was all of the free grace of God and that only.
–George Whitefield, ‘Christ the Support of the Tempted,’ a sermon preached in 1740 in England, from Lee Gatiss, ed., The Sermons of George Whitefield (2 vols; Crossway, 2012), 1:341
I think my next book order is going to include some George Whitefield sermons.
I pray that this blessed you wherever you are today in your walk with Jesus.